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22 August 2015 @ 02:16 am
Really? I haven't updated in a year? OVER a year? Geez, okay, so like...


About 2 months after my last post, the old counter manager had quit, I applied for the position and GOT IT! I spent the next several months managing essentially a department within the department; I was responsible for 12 different lines, 12 different goals, and a team of 5 people, ultimately responsible for making a planned $950,000 for the year. Unfortunately, the old counter manager peaced out before I officially got the position, so I had NO training from her, then we launched into holiday season, so then the department manager that would've normally trained me was far too busy and she ended up peacing out as well. THEN, the counter manager for the neighboring line who could've helped me after holiday ALSO dipped out. Like, JESUS CHRIST, right? Then we got our new satanic department manager who didn't know her ass from her elbow and treated the entire department SO badly that 22 people ended up quitting in the 6 months she was there. (She was essentially forced out of that position because she was doing SO terribly, her last day was a few days ago). All of the vendors I worked for basically considered her a joke at best. My staff couldn't stand working there anymore because of how unpleasant she made everything, so they left and, eventually, I was on my own. So, really... what am I gonna do? Pull in $950,000 by myself?! Or be responsible for the inevitable death of my "counter"s (aka: department's) inevitable demise?! That store is already slow as it is, which made sales difficult, if not impossible, but having a completely incompetent department manager who treated me so poorly I would leave work in tears more often than not... yeah. Eventually one of my vendors approached me and informed me of an open freelance position with his line that pays more and has better hours, so, yeah, BYE GURL BYE! So now I am freelancing for a line I completely love and am the happiest I've EVER been at ANY job! YESSSSSSSSSS.

(Sorry if this entry is poorly written, it's very late at night and I'm exhausted).

Also, if anyone still even reads this, I am still with the aforementioned boyfriend. We've now been together almost a year and 3 months. My 2nd longest relationship ever, and definitely the most stable and promising. (*knocks on wood* don't want to jinx this one, he is absolutely wonderful). So far, he has met my father, ALONE, WITHOUT ME, and spent a night getting schwastey faced with him. My father now refers to him as his "son in law". If my spidey senses are correct, I am pretty sure that means my family likes him. My mom approves from afar, but I am definitely working on a way me, him and OATTY can spend a few days together in florida. And speaking of 'rents meeting significant others, I have visited my handsome prince in El Pewphole and met his mother, father, brother and his El Bunghole besties... they are all lovely and, apparently, his god fearing "if she wears dark lipstick in my house I'll kick her out" mother absolutely loves me, and language barriers aside, I her/them.

My boyfriend is the most caring, romantic, loving, loyal and patient man I've ever had the pleasure of dating. Marriage and small versions of adults are definitely topics of discussion. For now we're waiting for him to graduate school in El Asshole (out of state tuition is too much, so he's opting to stay put for now) and then we're going to decide whether or not we're going to move to Austin together or if he's going to move to Seattle. Or even if we're going to move to LA. Everything is kind of up in the air right now. But that's okay, we have another year to figure it out.

Ugh, I hope I am not jinxing anything by talking about it here. I really want this.

So, speaking of Austin, I went back there for the first time since I moved away, for my birthday. I got to see people I haven't spent time with in years and got to drag my boyfriend along with me. So much has changed, some of my friends have kids now, some of my friends don't drink now, some of my friends have opened up and like to drink now, I even ran into an idiot exboyfriend mentioned previously in this LJ and had the pleasure of giving him the cold shoulder and feeling and thinking nothing of it. So much has changed, yet my relationships with the ones I love remain the same. It makes me feel so full of happiness to know that I can pick up where I left off with these people who have shaped and influenced my entire life. Grateful is an understatement when I am talking about my unconditional love and adoration of these people. I don't feel forgotten or left behind anymore.

Geeze, what else has gone on?! I am still living with the same roommates in this awesome house in West Seattle, I still collect records, I am still a dweeb who only watches documentaries and I still wear my heart on my sleeve. Except now that heart is a lot less tattered and bruised. it's been shellac'd with love from all directions. I still struggle with depression now and then and I am not exactly the richest girl in the world, but the wonderful things I have in my life right now are irreplaceable and I couldn't be more happy and grateful for what I have. But don't get it twisted, I will always fight for more. I am finally starting to see that I deserve it.

Me and my prince charming:

The first time we officially hung out, when he came to visit me in Seattle. Of course I fell asleep on him.

<3 my heart <3

Oh, and that time I tried acid for the first time and he took pictures (yeah I did that):

My Austin 30th birthday trip:

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Oh, and I came home to find my roommates wearing this and gave me an extra one to wear too. Looooooooooooooooooolzzzzz.

I don't know. I wanna say life is good, but I feel like whenever I do, something goes wrong. I hope the only thing going wrong here is my attitude.

There's more but I need to be up in 5 hours...

Current Mood: lovedextremely lucky
16 August 2014 @ 03:19 am
I kind of did a thing where I realized I was just "settling" and then broke things off with my fiance. Then, by accident, ended up with someone I've known him for a couple of years but didn't even consider as an option until accidentally. It's long distance until he gets out of school, so that is difficult, but I meeeaaaannn. I keep getting into "situations". One might tell me to go with my head not my heart, but my head toggles between too complicated or boring. Ridiculous, be that as it may... at least my heart is genuine. I am happy with my life right now. My heart feels full, not in suspension. Like before.

I'm responsible for a $15,000 goaled Smashbox event, where the head photographer from Smashbox studios is coming to my location. How scary and, like, adult-y.

I am in the process of seriously considering my options of moving to California to temporarily live with my father, since he's finally divorced from that psychotic, family destroying, money laundering, fucking BITCH. I do love Seattle, but there isn't a lot for me here.

I'm kind of bummed because the one person in Seattle I've been able to connect with since I moved to Seattle a year and a half ago, just moved to AZ. *sigh*

My life lately.

...I am curious to see what the next few weeks hold.

Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Katy Perry - Wide Awake (yes, I am serious)
28 May 2014 @ 10:45 pm

As well as...

But even so, there's always some of this...

Today I had a meeting with two Smashbox account executives and a lady who is second in command of the entire Estee Lauder corporation and I've been placed in charge as the pseudo counter manager, while my manager is on vacation. That's pretty cool, I guess.

I'm loving my new place! I'm loving my job!

Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: The Wedding Present - Take Me!
25 April 2014 @ 01:36 am

On a whim I got a new *litttterallll* baby. I named her mini-bar. She's just been chillin' on my shoulder, lickin' mah neck. I've been walking all over my house to let her smell smells; she seems pretty stoked. Right off the bat she's been the most wellllll behaved cute rat baby I've had when I got them.

Well, except when she SOMEHOW got out of her cage when I took a nap. I get up and she's sitting ON TOP of her cage. And not doing anything bad, really. I just looked at her and said "What a bad baby, grow up". Then I put her back in her cage and she seemed like she felt all "Oh, okay, kewl, ewps" about it.

Even though I am a rep for, like, 8 lines right now, yesterday I went to Philosophy basic. I obvs learned all the things, but I also left with, like, almost TOO much gratis. Hell yeah gurl.

I need to e-mail the Smashbox rep.

I love going out to a club and being asked mid-dance, "Were you a stripper before?". What, before TONIGHT?! Or in general?! Because tonight, I'm definitely a stripper. There's nothing quite like taking all your clothes off and dancing with 358907587539 gay men at a bar. The only time I can stuff a $5 bill in a mans thong without feeling guilty the next day.

Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: Trouble For Me - B SpearZzZzzzzzzzzz
23 April 2014 @ 12:42 am

So, this past Friday, we had our Smashbox mini event. We had two Smashbox AE's there for support, which was exciting because I love the line and wanted to pick their brains. Turns out we all worked for MAC and ended up sharing makeup stories and advice with each other; we got along beautifully. I semi-jokingly said something about: "...well, if you have any open positions for the line!". The one girl immediately asked me how easily I can get to downtown, I told her very. So she left for a bit and came back with the other AE. They discreetly pulled me aside to tell me they have a position I'd be perfect for and one of them gave me her card and told me to email her for details about the job. I did and we talked on the phone, the job pays about the same with a thousand times more stress. I told her to give me a couple of days to think it over. But she was telling me that if I eventually want to move up within Smashbox as a company (which she wants for me), the position would open the door. But, I don't know, I'm happy where I'm at, I love my team and don't want to leave them high and dry, and plus... I still would be working with Smashbox. Either way, I'm tremendously flattered and humbled that my hard work and skills as a makeup artist were recognized by TWO account executives for an AMAZING line and they want ME to work for them.

Right now I am sitting in my room, sipping on the bottle of vodka that Patrick left here last night and am trying so very hard to get sleepy. Because, like, the Benadryl is still packed somewhere in a box in this house and lord knows I am too hyper active for legitimate sleep on my own. I am totally going to hate myself in the morning, in my 6 fucking hour philosophy class. Or perhaps the self loathing and regret will happen later, when I immediately walk from school to work, you know, to deal with an additional 6 hours of asgahsahsfasldfg. Eh, I volunteered and I need the munnay hunnay.

Speaking of the house though, I seriously love it so much. I have everything I could possibly need RIGHT HERE, within a 5 minute walking distance radius. It will take forever to get all 3 stories in order and put together, but it's just so nice to finally have at least my own room to chill in again, to have my own space. Which is why I am stoked between the overtime at work and random birthday money, meaning I'll finally be able to afford to furnish my room and live like an actual human being again. It's also nice having the patio and patio door attached to my room, because I can just come in the house, directly into my bedroom. It's like my own little studio apartment attached to the house. Plus, it's hot being able to sneak Patrick in at, like, 3 am without a soul knowing.

Ummmmmm, my birthday was pretty good. I somehow managed to get both my birthday and the next day off without even asking. Gaycy's probably was like "Ohhhhhh, we know all about her from before. It would be a waste of time to schedule her those days and think she'd actually show up lol!!!".
But, yeah, we had just moved the day before so everything was rushed and stressful. Me and a good, oh, 15 of my friends and coworkers went out to Linda's for drinks! But, like, in the last year, Linda's has gotten SOMEFUCKINGHOW even more pretentious than it was when I first started going there. I got kicked out because THE BARTENDER handed me someone elses' drink order and me, thinking that the bartender was NOT an idiot and actually knew HOW TO DO THEIR JOB, I grabbed the drinks and walked off. Moments later I feel a tap on my shoulder telling me that I need to leave immediately for stealing people's drinks. So, by this point I was pretty tanked and I spent the next, um, 20 minutes outside SCREAMING at the door guy, calling him a "fucking asshole piece of fucking shit", etc. I guess I got over it though, because then we all ended up at Pony. Which I don't even remember going there. But what I do know is that I managed to keep my pants on this time, so that's a huge plus that I've seen. At some point fairly early in the night, we all called it quits and me and Patrick ended up sleeping in his car a block or so away from my house. Ok then.

Yeah, so these are things and stuphhHhHhhhhHhhhhhhhhhhh. I have a bunch of Benefit gratis on the way, followed by some Strivectin gratis as well. Yehy free things due to working in cosmetics. I missed this!

Weoeoeoeoeooeoeoeoeoooooooo life is pretty okay I guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: bouncywiggly
Current Music: Small Black - Free At Dawn
10 April 2014 @ 12:13 pm

I think I am actually starting to notice changes in my mindset and body now that I'm leaving my 20's. As a high strung, anxiety riddled person, I've noticed that over the last couple of years I've developed this general attitude of "I don't give a flying fuck or rolling rimjob", and things that used to be so very important to me I started neglecting more and more over time until that thing no longer existed in my life anymore. In some ways it's been helpful; like not letting it eat at me when people don't like me, not getting so offended and angry when people disagree with me, or not spending TOO much time wallowing in my own butthurt when my romantic relationships don't work the way I wanted them to. But in many ways, this attitude has gotten in the way of opportunities to move forward in my life or career, instead of laterally. (Though I will say that even though working cosmetics in Macy's again is technically a lateral move, I'm getting paid much more for a position that requires much less. So suck it). Perhaps this could be a part of the fog lifting from the deep depression I've been in over the last, oh, 3 years now. You know, part of the aforementioned "Not spending too much time wallowing in my own butthurt when my romantic relationships don't work the way I wanted them to" learning experience. But I digress! I've also noticed a change in my attitude towards my body, also a combination of good and bad. Some of you may or may not have known this already, but for the last 4 years or so, I've been struggling off and on with eating disorders, onset by depression; my weight yo-yos dramatically depending on my general mood and it's intensity. About 3 years ago when things really started getting out of control in my personal life, I would go days without eating, or would eat perhaps around 500 calories of food, feel guilty that I would be letting people down, and would immediately purge. "Wow, Adrienne, you look great!" -- well, yeah, that's because I just lost 20 lbs in two weeks and am emaciated and malnourished, but thanks! From spending much of my childhood being teased for being fat and ugly, then overcompensating by spending most of my early adulthood in very superficial and judgemental environments like cosmetics, I definitely developed a complex and my appearence meant everything to me. To the extent that, come 25 years old, I woke up one day and realized, "Wow, I don't like anything. I don't have ANY hobbies or interests!". Then, slowly but surely, as I left cosmetics and started experiencing a world beyond department stores, my attention shifted less on my appearence and more to the wonderful stuff life has to offer. Yaaaay records and, like, who knew I loved to paint so much? But now that I am back in an environment where looks are everything, I am remembering old morning routines I would go through before work and remembering what it's like to look in the mirror and see not just my reflection, but someone pretty. As I've matured, I think I am finally finding a healthy balance between my mind and my body. Where it's OKAY to pamper myself, to be girly by dropping $150 on perfume and spending 45 minutes doing my eyebrows, but it's also totally okay to go to the groccery store with no makeup on and gain 5 lbs over the holidays. Does that make sense? I guess what I am saying is that I am learning that things don't have to be so black and white with me all the time, I don't have to torture myself in some areas of my life in order to focus on others. With that being said, I have noticed that as the years have gone by and my need for vanity has decreased, I have, to an extent, let myself go a little bit. Not just in looks, but in health as well, this is where the "I don't give a flying fuck or rolling rimjob" attitude is damaging and is an on going issue in my life.

Blah, blah, blah. I wrote so much I kind of forgot what I was writing about to begin with.

Oh. Yeah, turning into an old lady.

Well, I now wake up at 7:00 am without an alarm clock everyday, I am starting to enjoy opening shifts at work, I am starting to get the dreaded forehead "11", bangs make me look old now apparently and, for the life of me, I can't get back down to a size 6. Which sucks. Everything else is pretty cool, I guess.

This message is brought to you by a pre-I'malmost30birthday meltdown. Thank you and have a nice day.

Pee ess:

Awwwwwww, sew cewt. Me and PeeTrix harassing mah bo0o0. Weo0eoe0oe0e0oe0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0zero.
Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: The sound of hairspray in the bathroom
2 drunk 2 funcshun. things are goooooood & weird. i'm moving into the house on the 12th, then i have the 13th/14th off for my birthday, then a Smashbox event on the 18th after working 9 million days in a row, then my Philosophy training. 2 muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 2 funcshun.

I have stories but I feel like they're ones I cant write here because I mightttt get arrested. Let me just say I love my firendzzzzzzz. Who cares trhat I didn't spell that right.

I feel you, watching me, watching you...

i got 9 lives, like a kitty kaaaaat.
Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: betchuh wanna c my body nakuhddd
20 March 2014 @ 07:39 pm

Current Mood: drunkdrunk
Current Music: Devo - Cold War
20 March 2014 @ 03:42 pm
Sewwww, I've been super busy with work and stuff. It's been very strange being back in cosmetics; lots of things have changed since I've been gone. Lots of memories too. But, it's only been a couple of weeks and I'm already getting reacquainted -- all those makeup selling spiels are coming back to me one by one. I guess the main thing I am struggling with is that I am responsible for, like, 6 or 7 color lines (a lot of info to take in), but I am almost exclusively a color line cosmetics girl so I can largely bullshit my way through things. The skin care lines we have (2) I am reeeaaallyyyyy struggling to retain information on, because there's SO much in these lines and SO MUCH has changed in skin care since I last worked cosmetics. I also have to give facials which I've never really done before. I know at Chanel we had a skin care line, but we didn't carry the most sought after products at our location, so people would go to other locations if they wanted skin care; we just focused on color. They taught me how to do facial massages with the serums and creams, etc, but I've never had to do facial peels and put more than 2 or 3 skin care products on someone's face before. While using a Clarisonic face scrubber brush thingy. That thing scares the shit out of me haha. But, whatever, I'll catch on eventually.

Aside from that, I've largely been wiggling to Kylie with ptrix. The Kylie release party at Pony was fricken awesome!!! We danced for hours and hours and hours to non-stop Kylie. We won all the trivia prizes! Gift cards and CDs! And took all the promo posters home with us! There was also a man dressed like a giant turkey, a man wiggling on the bar in speedos laced with dollar bills and drag performances of several Kylie songs! Seeeeeeeeeeew good!!!!!

Oooooooooooooh oh oh ohhhhhhh, we got approved for the house! We'll be moving sometime in April. I'll like, have a real legitimate place to live and stuff! We wont be on the lake in Leschi anymore, which kind of suxxxx. But we will be moving to West Seattle in the, um, like, junction area?! Where like everything is centralized. I can walk to whatever I need in, like, 5 minutes or less. Soooo conveniant. Also awesome is that a rapid ride bus comes through about 2 blocks away and they run 24 hours, so it'll take a few minutes to get downtown and I never have to worry about getting home late at night :) YeEeHhhYyyyyyy!!!

Ummmmmmmm, that's about it, gurl. K bye.

Current Mood: busybusy

I just got back from spending 3 days at my boyfriendZ apartment. A drunken, wiggly, naked haze. No, really, I didn't wear clothes for 3 days. Also: assdffffff at when yer bf buys your favorite cologne and then you end up looking as pictured above because it's like instant I AM GOING 2 DO U spray. O man.

Today I am going to file my taxes, since I FINALLY got my second W2 from the job I had for 3 seconds when I first moved to Seattle. Then I am going over to Ptrix's house and we're having a drunken Kylie dance party again.

Edward's (my roomie) boyfriend is here visiting from Cali! They've been together for 19 years!!! I want a relationship like that, it's so cute. And his boyfriend is very sweet.

All my el jay entries are wiggly. Pew pew pew pew pew pewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I need to stop being happy and eating food because I do not need to turn n2 a phatty. jdgfdug9fg7df90gsdjfshkfhsf.

I love that "naughty" is a mood.

Current Mood: naughtynaughty
Current Music: kylie kylie kylie kylie kylie kylie kylie